Helping Children Make Responsible Decisions

Every parent wants to raise their child to be capable of making good decisions as they grow up.  Children need to be given opportunities to experience both success and failure as they mature.  It is crucial is to balance the power you give them with the responsibility that comes with it.

“We do our kids a great service when we empower them.  The ability to express their feelings, make informed decisions and navigate the world around them is a crucial skill that only practice will develop,” says Dr. Deborah Gilbao, a board certified family physician, parenting expert, author and mother of four.  “It is important that while allowing children to express their opinions, they learn to work together. It is an important life lesson to teach children to use the power they have in a way that benefits them, the family and society.”

Permissive parenting emerged in the 1980s and 1990s as parents moved away from their authoritarian upbringing and changed to the opposite extreme — being permissive. It became a parenting style based on a “Live and let live, let kids be free,” trend centered on kids’ self-esteem and happiness.

While healthy self-esteem is desirable, these children need guidance in working together for a common purpose that that they can blend into the structure of the work place and meet its expectations.  Young children need to learn how to express their feeling respectfully and that, just like the world around them, there are family rules and values cannot be overstepped without consequences.  In short, children learn that being empowered doesn’t translate to becoming entitled.

Parent can start out letting their children make simple decisions that are appropriate for their age.  A 3 year old can choose his shirt if given two or three choices.  You control the outcome while he has the opportunity to make the choice.  And, as children get older, they can learn to help plan and prepare a family meal, help select a family outing or which move to watch on family night.  When you take charge and provide balance structure, rules and concern for others, you become their safety net as they learn through trial and error.  The end result is happy children with a healthy sense of self-esteem who can be trusted to make responsible decisions.

(Based on She Knows Parenting by Dr. Deborah Gilbao.)

Sidestepping Temper Tantrums

Every new parent or teacher of children ages 1-4 years old can expect to see some temper tantrums.  And, there are predictable events that trigger these outbursts:  bath time, bedtime, car rides, dinner time, getting dressed, interactions with siblings or peers, getting up, instructions to do something, guests, a parent on a phone call and being denied something that they want but can’t have.

The smallest things can set off young children, from asking them to take a bath while they're in the middle of watching Sesame Street to requesting that they share a favorite stuffed animal with a younger sibling. Any situation that involves change may spawn a tantrum. Add fatigue or hunger to the equation, and children are even more likely to throw a tantrum.

Here are some tips to help you out:

·         Announce something that children must do—instead of making a request that requires a ‘yes’ or ‘no’.  Say, “It’s dinner time!” instead of asking “Are you eat dinner?”

·         Make a game out of what they must do and lighten up the mood.  “Can you be the first one to get to the car?”

·         Keep calm and keep a sense of humor to distract and redirect the child’s attention.  You can laugh, turn the lights in the room off and on several times, make a funny face, pretend to throw your own temper tantrum, or say, “Wow!  What’s making all that noise?”

·         Keep off-limit temptations out of sight - avoid the toy/candy aisle in the grocery store, keep scissors out of reach.

·         Give you child a sense of control over little things by offering choices.  “Which do you want to do first…brush your teeth or put on your pajamas?”

·         "Instead of making a request that requires a 'yes' or 'no,' try rewording it to pull the response you're looking for." Don't ask, "Ready to brush your teeth?" Instead, say, "It's tooth brushing time. Will this be a red-brush day or a yellow-brush day?"

·         Signal children before you reach the end of an activity so that they can get prepared for the transition. Say, “When the timer goes off 5 minutes from now it will be time to turn off the TV and go to bed.”

·         Change environments, thus removing the child from the source of the temper tantrum. Say, “Let’s go to the park.”

·         Try to keep your daily routines as consistent as possible and give your child a five-minute warning before changing activities.

·         Allow your child to take a toy or snack with them while you run errands. It may help them stay busy.

·         Teach your child other ways of dealing with frustration.  Remind children who are old enough to talk to use their words instead of screaming.  Teach them how to make a request without a temper tantrum and honor that request.  “Try asking for the raisins nicely and I’ll get them for you.”

Do praise your child when they remain calm in a situation that would have normally set off a temper tantrum. As you will see, stepping in and preventing the outbreak of a temper tantrum is just another milestone in learning to be a proactive parent.

Making memories with my kids is something near and dear to my heart. When they grow up, I want them to be able to point back to moments in their lives that stand out as noteworthy.

Since my kids are spread out over a few years, I’m pretty resigned to having to tailor whole-family activities to something my littlest can tolerate. This can be tough when you have a ‘tween who’s itching to go to a PG-13 movie, the golf course, or the mall.

With the recent release of The Hunger Games film, I faced this problem head-on. My oldest, who had read the book, wanted desperately to see the movie – and so did I! Not only did I want to check out the content of the film, but seeing a movie in the theater is one of those carefree pleasures that seemed to evaporate once I had children.

My solution was to leave the younger-than-PG-13 crowd behind with a Boston babysitter from a Boston Babysitting Service for a little one-on-one time with my oldest, not to mention the rare opportunity to get to see a movie before it becomes available on Netflix. Carving out that block of time for just one of my kids makes for a special memory not soon forgotten, and also liberates me from another afternoon dragging everyone to the park and endlessly pushing my smallest on the swings.

All parents who have more than one child sometimes feel pulled in multiple directions by the different interests, ages, and even genders of their children. We value our special, one-on-one time with each of our kids, and it’s important for each of them to feel important on their own terms. Some activities are more appropriate for one or two of my children, but not the whole family, and I’ve found that occasionally splitting up the group brings us closer together.

- Stephanie Ackerman
Co-Owner, SeekingSitters Boston Metro West

It’s funny how last year we had such an awful winter and this year it was almost non-existent. Ice vs. early blooms, freezing cold to beautiful evenings on the patio. Summer is almost here and time to think of how to entertain the kiddos.

Summer camps are abundant and wonderful choices, vacations will no doubt take up some of the summer but what to do with the days when you have to be at work, no summer camp and vacation is either yet to come or ended?

SeekingSitters Atlanta North can be the easy answer. Atlanta babysitters keep your children busy with 

• Play time
• Pool time
• Activities
• The park
• Bike rides
• Even trips to the Aquarium, Center for Puppetry Arts, and so many other fun things Atlanta has to offer. 

Atlanta Professional Babysitters come prepared with age-appropriate activities planned for your children and are CPR/FA certified and are doing this for the love of the kids.

In the past couple of years Americans have faced economic difficulty resulting from job loss, pay cuts, inflation and an increase in prices. Many Americans are finding it difficult to maintain the same standard of living they once enjoyed before these hard economic times. Although it is hard to let go of the lifestyle we once enjoyed, there are changes we can all make in our daily retinues that can lighten the load and make us more financially prosperous overtime. An article written by personalfinancediscussion.com gives some great solutions to making your dollar stretch, some of the solutions are listed below.
When making cuts in your budget, don’t look at it as eliminating certain items or activities, but rather find affordable substitutes.

Substitue, Don't Eliminate

• Instead of eating dinner out at a restaurant several times a week, make a family meal at home. Substituting a meal at a restaurant for a home cooked meal, will not only save money, but will also be a fun activity that the family can share together.

• Substitute going to the movies for renting a movie at home. Waiting for films to come out to DVD will save the cost of a movie ticket per person and the cost of expensive concession snacks. It’s not all about saving money, renting a movie at home rather than going out will create some much needed bonding time and will take the pressure off rushing to make movie times.

• Using coupons, finding daily deals and shopping around for sales are great ways to save money each month on items you already have to buy. In addition to clipping coupons, subscribing to Groupon and LivingSocial will allow you to receive daily updates on deals offered by businesses in your area. There is no shame in bargain hunting, why spend more money on something when you don’t have to?

• Another great tip to find deals is to participate in give-a-ways on social media sites. 

• SeekingSitters will be holding a promotional contest on the SeekingSitters Franchise Page on Facebook for four free hours of babysitting.
  Contest dates; March 29 - April 29
  How to enter the contest:
  1. Like the SeekingSitters Franchise Page 
  2. Post "SeekingSitters easy, safe babysitting solutions" on our wall

As the economy retains its current state, and when more families are finding themselves in financial destitute, just remember there is light at the end of the tunnel. Making a few lifestyle changes and having the right attitude can be the right solution to making it through hard economic times.  

Gena Schneider recently opened a SeekingSitters franchise location in the Inland Empire. Several months prior to opening up her own SeekingSitters franchise, Gena discovered SeekingSitters when the SeekingSitters Orange County franchise ran a daily deal. Gena thought that SeekingSitters was an excellent concept for a business and immediately started to do more research on the company. Gena discovered that there was not a SeekingSitters in her area that she could belong to, but after more research of the company Gena told her husband SeekingSitters was exactly the type of business she wanted to own. Gena believes that flexible childcare is a necessity for so many families. Providing a safe childcare solution is a concept that she is passionate about and the SeekingSitters business model allows her an opportunity to provide a needed service in her community while working primarily from home.

Gena said, “Transitioning from full-time stay-at-home mom to full-time business owner and stay-at-home mom means I have to structure my time each day very wisely, work efficiently within those time constraints, but also be flexible for when it doesn’t go according to plan.” She is able to make time to answer phone calls and emails that fit around her and her children’s schedule. Gena said “I make most phone calls during naptime or while they play at the park, and write follow up emails at night after they go to bed. I visit other businesses while my daughter is in her pre-k class twice a week, and conduct interviews at night after my husband gets home.”  She believes that the hardest part for her has been to set and follow her office hours in the evening after her children are in bed. Most nights Gena has to set alarms on her phone to remind her to get up from her desk and call it a day.

 It had been 201 days since I last saw my husband in person and our daughters had seen their dad. The girls were so excited they had been counting down the days since he left.  It still wasn’t real for me maybe because the date he would be home kept changing or because I was so nervous about him flying 20 hrs in a 40 year old Navy aircraft that was known for breaking down.  When he walked off that plane and the girls ran to him a huge relief came over me.  My best friend was back!  My husband “Sean” has been in the Navy for 24 years and for some reason each deployment is getting harder than the last.  I thought when the girls got older and more self sufficient the deployments would be easier but as the girls get older the homework doubles, activities increase and they miss their dad more.
 
The day after Sean came home I started not to feel well and I stayed in bed for the next 5 days, I went to the doctor and she said I had strep throat and prescribed antibiotics, I began to feel worse and went back to the doctor and was told I had bronchitis and was prescribed new antibiotics.  I ended up in the hospital with pneumonia and a critical high calcium level which we found out later was a side effect from an antibiotic.  The doctor in the hospital who knows me well from a previous visit in September told Sean and I that STRESS caused my illness. My body was not responding well to the antibiotics and it was time for me to try holistic ways to get better and de-stress my life.  This was not news to me, I had been feeling very overwhelmed for months but for some reason it took the doctor to say medicine can’t help you anymore.  At that moment I realized I don’t want to be SUPERWOMEN anymore.  I want to be a healthy wife, mother and a successful business woman. It’s ok to say NO, it’s ok to get help with the kids, housework and the business.  It’s ok to do things for yourself like going to the gym, getting that well deserved pedi/mani, booking a Jacksonville babysitter so that you can have a date night or hang with your girlfriends.
 
2012 is the year to get healthy and de-stress.  Let SeekingSitters Jacksonville help you! The New Year is a great time to reconnect with a spouse or loved one.  Thank you for trusting SeekingSitters for all your Jacksonville babysitting needs! HAPPY NEW YEAR!
 
-Heather Carolan
Owner, SeekingSitters Jacksonville East

As a proud Mom of two daughters, ages 6 (Emma) and 4 (Gabby), as well as the owner of SeekingSitters Denver and Douglas County, I have always taught my daughters that “you keep your promises” and “your word is your bond”.  Well, they finally realized while sitting on Santa’s lap over the holidays what this really means!  Santa received a little coaching and a few suggestions from us about what to advise them to work on in 2012.  After he asked Emma to focus on learning to read in kindergarten and Gabby to learn how to swim, it all of sudden clicked to them about what commitment really means!  

Making the choice to take on a “New Year’s Resolution” is a personal decision for everyone, but I am using it as an opportunity to capitalize on what I’ve been working on with them for months! 

Think about the areas you ask your children to work on improving daily:

Change happens as we live our lives. We all go through change, our kids grow, achieve great things. Even as small children many of our members here in SeekingSitters Atlanta North have shown their children what it means to give back in ways such as picking a child’s name from a tree at church or charity and helping make sure another, less fortunate child has something under their tree. There’s helping in a food line at the local shelter or even something very dear to my family’s heart, the local animal shelter. Fostering an animal until they find their forever home, or even just playing with them or taking them for a walk makes both parties feel great. Those are positive changes, indeed!

We are planning our first big change here for members, sitters and the public calling it our SeekingSitters Atlanta North SpringFest. This change excites me as I don’t often get a chance to put names with faces of our members and I’m looking forward to meeting many of them. We know each other well on the phone, but it’s always fun to hug and shake hands and show myself to the kids, one of whom calls me the “Wizard”. His Mom picks up the phone and the “Wizard” sends him a great Atlanta North Babysitter! I love that.

I hope the changes coming for all of you in 2012 bring you happiness and peace or the chance to “Mitzvah” (a good deed) for someone else. It’s all about feeling good about yourself, your life so you can carry that momentum on to others. Have a wonderfully fulfilling 2012!

-Cecilia Giamundo
Owner, SeekingSitters Atlanta North

As a small business owner I greatly appreciate the flexibility that I have to spend more time with my kids but some days it is a challenge to get work in-between play time. Make it easy and fun with these simple tips!

Leave the house prepared
On days that you might have your kids in tow, pack the car with coloring books, snacks and activities. A day in the car can be like a day long road trip for the kids so make it fun and exciting. Pack a “fun-pack” for the day with an activity to grab at each new hour, they are always wanting to know what is next and keeps them entertained.

Stay productive
The day can be productive even if you are unable to get into the office or in front of the computer. Complete some of the tasks that you have been putting off for ages. Organize the office, send out letters to new clients or complete filing. These are definitely tasks that kiddos can help with and they usually enjoy helping in the office.

Easy Appointments
Plan your easy appointments for days that you have your kiddos in tow. Try to stick to appointments where you can drop off materials, fliers or pick up supplies or other appointments easy to have the kids with you. If you have to sit down with a client don’t plan your meetings in an office setting, let your clients know that you have your kiddos in tow and find out if a visit outside would be appropriate. Arrive a few minutes early and set up your kiddos with activities, reading materials or coloring books. Watch your time and don’t let your children get restless.

Break it up
Have designated time for your kiddos when they allow time for you. Let your kids know them know that during appointments they need to wait patiently and then they can have the same amount of time for fun. It is easy to pop into a park for even 10 minutes at a time. Stay just long enough so that they can release some energy and even timing them makes it a challenge!

Easy Expectations
Know that these days are not going to go as perfectly as planned and do your best to be productive and have a good attitude. These experiences provide opportunities to teach your children about business, respect, self control and patience.

It can be a lot of fun if you leave the day prepared for fun! I have discovered early on the more creative you are the more fun it is for everyone!